I wrote this to a dear friend today. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus. Conventionally, it is described as being forty days long, though different denominations calculate the forty days differently. The forty days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan.
Good start for Lent. As you know, some of these "choices" are Life choices. They're not easy, but worthwhile. I honestly think that once the physical "cravings" are dealt with, the hardest part is social: not "fitting" in, or "fitting" in, with former friends, however you look at it. Did I lose friends? I guess so, since some (many) of my friends were (still are, if still alive) problem drinkers. Do I have regrets? Not really, because, as you know:
- The worms crawl in,
- The worms crawl out,
- The worms play pinochle on your snout
Better a little lonely for a while, than dead. A sex addict, upon dealing with his/her addiction, probably needs a career change if they have been the Penthouse centerfold specialist for the last five years. Landscape photography anyone? Giving up the camera and becoming a body make up specialist would probably not be a wise choice. Offering Miss June a thigh rub-down with peanut oil would probably nullify the effects of 20 sex addict meetings!
I know I can walk into a bar occasionally, without a problem. However, if I were to hang out in bars, night after night, or every weekend, or even every other weekend, with drinkers, (casual or hard core drinkers), I'd be a dead man walking. Self delusion is a killer. An Olympic athlete doesn't hang all the time with "lard butts" or muffin stuffers. I wonder if Michael Phelps, now that he is back swimming and training, is still hanging with his dope smoking buddies. I'd bet a nickel on "no". Remember Sam Malone from Cheers?...Oh I am so showing my age here! He, the character, was a recovering alcoholic who worked as a bartender in the bar Cheers. Being in a bar was OK for a recovering drunk, because he was on the "right" side of the bar. There is a hell of a lot of symbolism there! The first "real" step in recovery, is identifying the problem. It may seem "phony" but all the programs have one thing in common. You always, at some point, have to say, I'm Jack, I'm a drunk, I'm a drug addict, I pick my nose, I have smelly feet........I didn't become an AA foot soldier, but I did go to a couple of handfuls of meetings and stood up each night and said "Hi I'm Jack and I'm a.......
When they tried to perform surgery on my Dad, they opened him up and realized his liver had "liquefied". It took me another twenty years to realize that "watery organs" was the path that I was on. I'm well aware of my gene pool - I love it, I hate it, whatever...one thing I can't do is escape it. I ran from it for a long time. Now, older, a little wiser, I realize that I have to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of my own gene pool and deal with it. For the longest time I blamed all my problems on the fact I wasn't six foot two inches tall. Those dudes had all the fun.
Maybe, but now, as long as I don't give in to old habits, I can yell:
"Oli, Oli Oxen, free, free, free!"
Self denial is the big thing (sometimes, surprisingly, the only "big" thing) that always, always, stands in the way of true freedom. In the Christian concept of self-denial, our Holy Father refers to as "self-mastery". It is self-mastery which controls the disorder caused by original sin. By responding to self-mastery the human person experiences true dignity and participates in freedom.
Love,
Jack
May I offer for you reading pleasure: I will quietly celebrate, but I know I am about out of pie.
You may also enjoy reading: A titanic mason hued out the steep sided valleys with keen edged adzes
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